November 19, 2008

REAR WINDOW (tee-hee)

I’d like to bring to light, a grave and serious problem that is currently affecting downtown Los Angeles.

We, for two, are OUTRAGED, as said problem-- if it were righted the way that it should be-- was one of the weighing factors of why we moved down here to begin with.

I am speaking, of course, of the severe LACK of people having sex in front of windows in their loft-buildings.

From our primary bank of windows, we can see seven, yes, seven loft buildings, averaging nine stories a piece and twenty-one large windows per side.  ...And after almost of year of living down here, there has yet to be a single siting of fellow loft-dwellers pressin’ bellies!!! Not even casual sauntering around in the nude! Can I get a collective WTF?!

I don’t get it: In any stalker-thriller movie or National Lampoon/American Pie installation, there are ALWAYS people either getting it on or getting undressed in front of windows. And isn’t art supposed to imitate life? So, what gives?


We can only think of two reasons: 1) The majority of downtown is made-up of Catholics who have an innate amount of good ‘ol fashion shame...something thought all but extinct in this “liberal” state until the recent passing of Prop 8... (which is a flimsy connection between the two, but god-damn, doesn’t Prop 8 passing just piss-you-the-fuck-off?)
... or 2) You people have stage-fright, some kind of exhibition-phobia, or your bed/furniture is too far away from the window (which are three reasons, but in the interest of brevity...)

We’re in this together, downtown Los Angeles. We are at a defining moment in our history. Our private sex lives are without spectacle. Our voyeuristic-kink is in peril. Our hearts are broken. Our economy is out of balance. Our educational system fails too many of our children.

If there’s anyone out there, who still doubts that downtown Los Angeles is a place where anything is possible... who still wonders if the dream of viewable nudity through binoculars is alive in our time...let the collective cries of our community be your answer. It’s the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, democrat and republican, black, white, hispanic, asian, native american, gay, straight, disabled and not-disabled; Downtown-ers who send a message to all of Los Angeles... that we have never been a collection of individuals who do not enjoy spying on our naked neighbors.... we are and always will be, Peeping-Tom’s!!!

It’s the answer that lead those--- who’ve been told for so long, by so many, that we are perverted and dirty and cynical about what we can achieve--- to put our hands on the “arc of history” and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day.

Downtown, we have come so far... we have seen so much, but there’s so much more nudity to see (...and people boning). So tonight, let us ask ourselves, if our children should live to see the next century, if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what nudity will they see? What progress will we have made? This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time to put our people back to work and open the drapes of opportunity; To reclaim the American dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth that out of many, we at least should be able to catch one couple gettin’ it on; that while we breathe, we hope for a glimpse....

And where we are met with cynicism and doubt, and those who tell us that we can’t, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a horny people: YES, WE CAN.

Thank you. God bless you. And may God bless downtown Los Angeles.



Uh, Is This Thing On...?


Making our own contribution to the wasteland of blogs in this realm we call the internet, we plant our own flag here, in this little corner that we're calling, "Dirty In Downtown L.A."

And although the title of this blog has many implied sexual connotations, realize that we simply named it knowing all you perverts would navigate here hoping to see home-grown couples porn or some kind of downtown L.A. swinger's society...

Alas, you silly sicko degenerates, you will get no such pleasure from us.  Cheap trick?  Absolutely.  And you fell for it.  Cause you're a freak.

The title is MORE fitting for the actual condition of Downtown Los Angeles... but I suppose that's not really fair to say.  The city has done a great job of cleaning up down here the last couple of years and have continued so in the year-plus we've lived downtown ourselves.  But still, sometimes it feels like I'm eating the air down here and there's always a thick layer of black pollution nestled in the moldings of the window sills in our loft.  However, you still can't beat the trapped smog clouds in the Valley in the summertime.  Delicious.  

Anyway, so what the fuck is this blog about?  

Well, we conceived it mainly with the intention of profiling life and living in downtown L.A. -- which has often been viewed as a veritable Mordor compared to the rest of Los Angeles or at best, something out of The Wire.  

We wanted to show that normal, working, smart people actually choose to live downtown and co-exist with the rest of the crack-heads, hookers, and vagrants... who I WILL say are much better company than any of the posers and party-chasers in Hollywood (that's right you fuckers, what up!!)....

....But, we'll probably end up just posting pictures and videos of our dogs, meander on about movies, and lampoon ourselves along with the thousands of other highfalutin, la-di-da yuppies down here who speak of downtown like it's Manhattan or Chicago (not you Celia, we love your blog).

SO, TUNE IN AND STAY TUNED KIDDIES....