June 2, 2009

Top 10 Things I Love About Myself

1) My gentle, yet contagious laugh. (It can't help but put a smile on your face.) 
2) My generous sense of charity. (Though I've often confused hipsters and homeless people, and too many times have given change to an undeserving, deep plunging v-neck wearing douche-bag.) 
3) My luscious hair (I know, right?!) 
4) The way I spell "colour" (so cultured...so cultured) 
5) My dimples (two words: A. Dorable.) 
6) Abs that could double as a cheese-grate. 
7) An unquenchable sense of adventure. (once, I drove to Calabasas!) 
8) Rock-solid, no... DIAMOND-solid integrity (but best if you make the check out to 'cash') 
9) The way I embrace the whole of humanity (just no Irish. Or Jews. Yikes, not a very p.c. thing to say. Ok, Irish are fine.) 
10) And aren't I just friggin' hilarious? Yeah, you just don't wanna be there when the laughter stops, you know. It just gets ugly. And a little sad. Well, mostly sad. And slightly emasculating....... i have a tiny penis.

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