September 15, 2009

You Cheating Bitch!!!

I may have to break-up with LA Cafe. I love you baby, but I've recently found out you're cheating on me. Please just be honest, because I've seen you with "them". You're whoring yourself out to the enormous douche-bag yuppies that have suddenly invaded Spring St. over the last couple of months.

With SB Lofts opening of their newest building on the corner of Spring and 7th, and with ridiculously cheap rent to boot, LA Cafe has reaped the benefits of the influx of lame, stupid-faced, Hollywood transplants, who, after going to the art-walk once or twice, decided they wanted to stow-away inside downtown's semi-cool community and populate and spoil our echelon with their stupid white-fluffy dogs, Gap khakis, and lame Clark Kent haircuts.

I've been going to LA Cafe every Saturday and Sunday for two years, and this past Sunday, at my normal arrival time, there was not only nary a table available, but an actual line out the door to order. And the wait wasn't due to the usual douche-able FIDIM poser/hipsters-- I'm used to those losers-- it was full of the same awful people you'd find holding court at Toast or Kings Road Cafe in Hollywood.

Where did you vile people come from?! Go back home to your Spanish-style homecomb adobe dwellings!

Am I a class warrior? A social snob? A *bleepin* ass&$%le? Yeah, probably. But I want my downtown back, and I want my LA Cafe back!



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