These comments are going to be taken to the deciding committee and can/will help contribute toward a passing.
Seriously, folks... I need a place where I can shamelessly pick-up chicks with my new puppy. What's that, honey? Oh, that's right, we both write this blog and you just read the previous sentence. That's obviously a typo. What I meant to say was, I love you; you are the most wonderful thing to ever happen to me, and that whole "picking up girls with a puppy" is just a bit of my 'ol British humor that you Americans don't always get. Huh? Ok, so I know I'm not British. What's that? Why are you yelling?... Here, look at the puppy!
(Here is our new puppy for reals.)
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